I am increasingly in awe of your writing and while I , like presumably everyone else, follow you for your excellent essays on liberalism, these more personal and humorous pieces have a different but equally powerful charm. The heartwarming way in which you write about Dave (who sounds hilarious) makes me feel a bit fuzzy. I am beginning to feel almost as if I know you. (Do please say if you are ever in Kent!)
“If I accurately evaluate my capacities on any given day and have a model of expectations for a series of levels I can succeed every day even if that day is mostly sedentary. Matt says he would not usually propose such a complex system, but he thinks it would work with my psychology. It does. I like this. I think I can do this.”
This is “structured grace”, and I’ve found to be exceptionally valuable for me as well, given my history of slipping into “never good enough” thinking. I hope it continues to provide you with the valuable perspective on what victory means day to day 🙏
Furthermore, as someone who is also dealing with reversal of late onset Adipose Super Sufficiency syndrome — yes, the big ASS is indiscriminate — following substantial health challenges, I too encourage you to be kind to yourself, to celebrate the small victories (even taking a nap that your body tells you it needs!) and the large ones (the changes that gym staff see are more extensive than what you see incrementally).
Perhaps together, we can encourage each other further in our efforts to become half-ASSed, then even less ASSed than that — and I know that even in the days where I don’t see it, my wife appreciates every reduction in my asseries both physical & cognitive 🙀
What a joy it is to be privy to the inner workings of your weird and wonderful mind. (That's not a slur; I have one like that, too.) It's rare to be able to be so honest about your vulnerabilities whilst provoking sudden collapses of stout parties through helpless laughter. Thank you. And I am very optimistic that, with the support of such a strong matrimonial bond, you will crawl your way out of the Catch 22 inability to exercise, crying and laughing, by Christmas. Cheers!
The entry about bursting into tears at coming down in the morning to see and feel the familiar comfort of domestic warmth caused my own eyes to well up a bit. A profoundly beautiful sentiment simply expressed and dearly felt.
Recently while the wife and I were folding back the bed linens for proper sleep prep, I mumbled to myself. She asked what I had said, so I repeated myself: “I’m old, fat, and stupid.” Instantaneously she responded, “You’re not stupid.”
Keep up the good work, Helen! We need you to stick around for longer than 52. You do great work trying to bring the gospel of Liberalism to normies, right-wingers, and woke 'progressives'/ We will civilize them yet :) I'm quite sure David would agree with me.
You're not over the hill, you're not decrepit, and you're not going senile. You're definitely not morally flawed. Keep doing what you're doing--it will get better, and your back and abdominal muscles will thank you ;)
A suggestion: during next week, reflect on what worked best during this stay, and try to incorporate it into your home life. It is too easy to slip back into old habits; staying on this positive path will require planning and plenty of support, both structural and personal.
Agree with the apologies to one’s body. Also try gratitude to your body. What a miracle it is you are we are. How f**king miraculous is your recovery?
Even your thoughts are pointing to something that wants to be heard… I hear that they want to mourn what has happened and what you lost and are anxious you don’t loose more functioning? Could this be accurate?
What a heroic journey of challenging your old mental & physical habits in order to keep your dispiriting self-flagelations in check. Go girl! You're on track - with good support. Remembering each small win helps. t
The journey of 1,000 miles is comprised of one step at a time.
I am increasingly in awe of your writing and while I , like presumably everyone else, follow you for your excellent essays on liberalism, these more personal and humorous pieces have a different but equally powerful charm. The heartwarming way in which you write about Dave (who sounds hilarious) makes me feel a bit fuzzy. I am beginning to feel almost as if I know you. (Do please say if you are ever in Kent!)
“If I accurately evaluate my capacities on any given day and have a model of expectations for a series of levels I can succeed every day even if that day is mostly sedentary. Matt says he would not usually propose such a complex system, but he thinks it would work with my psychology. It does. I like this. I think I can do this.”
This is “structured grace”, and I’ve found to be exceptionally valuable for me as well, given my history of slipping into “never good enough” thinking. I hope it continues to provide you with the valuable perspective on what victory means day to day 🙏
Furthermore, as someone who is also dealing with reversal of late onset Adipose Super Sufficiency syndrome — yes, the big ASS is indiscriminate — following substantial health challenges, I too encourage you to be kind to yourself, to celebrate the small victories (even taking a nap that your body tells you it needs!) and the large ones (the changes that gym staff see are more extensive than what you see incrementally).
Perhaps together, we can encourage each other further in our efforts to become half-ASSed, then even less ASSed than that — and I know that even in the days where I don’t see it, my wife appreciates every reduction in my asseries both physical & cognitive 🙀
Take good care of your wonderful self, Helen!
What a joy it is to be privy to the inner workings of your weird and wonderful mind. (That's not a slur; I have one like that, too.) It's rare to be able to be so honest about your vulnerabilities whilst provoking sudden collapses of stout parties through helpless laughter. Thank you. And I am very optimistic that, with the support of such a strong matrimonial bond, you will crawl your way out of the Catch 22 inability to exercise, crying and laughing, by Christmas. Cheers!
The entry about bursting into tears at coming down in the morning to see and feel the familiar comfort of domestic warmth caused my own eyes to well up a bit. A profoundly beautiful sentiment simply expressed and dearly felt.
Recently while the wife and I were folding back the bed linens for proper sleep prep, I mumbled to myself. She asked what I had said, so I repeated myself: “I’m old, fat, and stupid.” Instantaneously she responded, “You’re not stupid.”
We laughed and laughed.
Congratulations on your continuing improvement.
Your chronicle is terrific and inspiring, and your writing, while always great, has deepened in nuance and feeling.
Dave refusing to let you insult his wife was a lovely image. I hope the new plan brings more of those days where you feel like yourself again.
I love the complicated plan with lots of assessments and numbers. That Matt fellow is beginning to understand you.
Keep up the good work, Helen! We need you to stick around for longer than 52. You do great work trying to bring the gospel of Liberalism to normies, right-wingers, and woke 'progressives'/ We will civilize them yet :) I'm quite sure David would agree with me.
You're not over the hill, you're not decrepit, and you're not going senile. You're definitely not morally flawed. Keep doing what you're doing--it will get better, and your back and abdominal muscles will thank you ;)
Absolutely loved that Helen, so funny and touching. Keep up the good work. You've almost lost a stone already!
Love this.
Big hugs, Helen!
A suggestion: during next week, reflect on what worked best during this stay, and try to incorporate it into your home life. It is too easy to slip back into old habits; staying on this positive path will require planning and plenty of support, both structural and personal.
Yep. That’s why I took a month. Not only to get me started but to think a lot and plan in ways that can be sustainable longterm
Love this.
Agree with the apologies to one’s body. Also try gratitude to your body. What a miracle it is you are we are. How f**king miraculous is your recovery?
Even your thoughts are pointing to something that wants to be heard… I hear that they want to mourn what has happened and what you lost and are anxious you don’t loose more functioning? Could this be accurate?
What a heroic journey of challenging your old mental & physical habits in order to keep your dispiriting self-flagelations in check. Go girl! You're on track - with good support. Remembering each small win helps. t
The journey of 1,000 miles is comprised of one step at a time.
I haven't had time to read all this yet, but I love Helen for being genuine, even if I might end up disagreeing...