It is Not Fatphobic to Prefer Not Being Fat

Nor is it homophobic, racist or misogynistic.

Photo by Cyrus Chew on Unsplash

Important Note: Thank you, but I do not want any well-intended weight loss advice in my comments. I have a plan.

Today I have bitten the bullet and weighed myself. I am very aware that I have gained a great deal of weight since becoming ill last March but have not measured it. Today, I confirmed that I am currently more overweight than I have ever been in my life. This is very distressing because before this, I had successfully lost a considerable amount of weight, got out of plus sizes and was able to start running again. My personal trainer attested to my being more physically capable than most people when in February of last year, I went on a two week fitness retreat in an effort to help lift the depression and burn out I was suffering from. We alternated days of hiking with days of using various gym equipment and swimming. I managed all this just fine (having a home gym and a Labrador) and thoroughly enjoyed it. My body felt comfortable and strong and it moved with ease. This is very far from the case a year later.

Why am I so unhappy with my body right now? Many Fat Activists would say this is because I have internalised Fatphobia from a fat-hating society. (For anybody wanting an introduction to Fat Activism, I wrote an accessible guide here). That is, I have been socially conditioned to believe that being obese is bad and being slim is good because I live in a society that has an irrational hatred of fat people. This is just a kind of prejudice akin to believing that homosexuality is bad and heterosexuality is good. Attempts to link fatphobia with homophobia are particularly common with the argument being that because homosexuality was once erroneously designated an illness, it must be equally false that obesity is unhealthy. This argument fails utterly however, as same-sex attraction does not increase one’s risk of diabetes, heart disease, various cancers and early death.

There may also be some white supremacy in my preference not to be obese, I am told. The argument goes like this:

String’s book “Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fatphobia” is still worth a read and contains much rigorous and interesting historical research despite this dubious claim. The evidence that obesity is something particularly affecting black populations is lacking.

Finally, my wish not to be obese could also be due to internalised misogyny. This argument looks like this:

I am extremely dubious of this claim too. If society has tried to teach me to be quiet, small, neat, sweet, and pliant, it has spectacularly failed.

Nevertheless, now that I am in a good position to remedy the weight gain problem and start to do so and talk about it online, I am very likely to be harassed by Fat Activists. I am in a good position to address the problem now because I have been able to stop the medication that dealt with the pain of the nerve damage in my head but also made me ravenously hungry all the time. I find it helpful to talk about diet and exercise and weight loss online as it keeps me motivated. But, as I know from experience, there will be people who see it as a problem that I see my weight gain as a problem. They will insist that the only reason I don’t want to be this fat is because I am fatphobic and have been socialised into believing that I should be thin. I will be told that I am suffering from internalised fatphobia and self-hatred.

e.g.,

Furthermore, my wish to be slimmer and my taking of action to become so will be seen by some as a betrayal of a tribe I should want to belong to. By failing to think of myself first and foremost as a ‘fat person’ and taking this on as my primary identity in solidarity with others, I am a sell-out. Also, one who is deceiving herself because I don’t think that everybody else primarily thinks of me as a ‘fat person.’

This kind of thing does not discourage or intimidate me, but I would very much like fat activists to stop doing it because I am quite sure it does have a discouraging effect on some people. Perhaps it would help those who are inclined to do this if I tell you why I do not like being this fat.

It is not because:

• I hate fat people.

Unlike you, I do not evaluate other people by their body size or attach any social or moral significance to this.

• I hate myself.

Well, OK, sometimes I have moments of self-loathing but not because of my weight. This is a health problem, not a moral failing.

• I have been conditioned by a fat-hating culture into believing it is better not to be morbidly obese.

I don’t think I live in a fat-hating culture and my reasons for thinking it better not to be morbidly obese are objectively and experientially true.

• I am a homophobic, white supremacist misogynist.

Seriously, give your head a wobble.

It is because:

• I am carrying around twice the weight that my frame was built to carry and that I have been for most of my adult life.

This is equivalent to performing every single action while carrying another person on my back. If you cannot see why that might be physically exhausting and generally make life much harder that it needs to be, I can’t help you.

• My knees, ankles and hips hurt when I walk.

I really like to walk and the pain this is currently causing me is making this much less enjoyable (and my dog is also not very impressed).

• I am pre-diabetic again.

I’d stopped being so when I lost the weight before but now my blood test results are flashing big warning lights at me. I would really rather not be diabetic.

• My cardio fitness has dropped from ‘average to good’ to ‘poor to fair.’

This is a consequence of this recent weight gain and also the greater difficulty with walking. I would really rather not have a heart attack.

• I cannot put my own bloody socks on.

At the age of 48, I am having to use this contraption for elderly and disabled people because I cannot reach my own feet. (And no, it is not ageist or ableist to decide to remedy having disabled myself with fatness).

• I am generally extremely uncomfortable and limited in my movements because of the size and shape of my body.

I would prefer to feel comfortable, have a full range of movement and be a fully functioning biped. I am pretty sure of this because I have been one relatively recently and it was great.

Anticipated objections.

• It is possible to be fit and healthy at any size. Look at this plus sized woman running a marathon.

Yes, I know that many very overweight people still manage to be fit and feel healthy. I considered myself to be one of them a year ago when I could outwalk most slim people. I have put on 37kg since then, though, and I am also 48 and quite clearly not fit and healthy if walking around my house makes all my joints hurt. I am unnecessarily disabled in a way I can remedy so I am going to do that. If you are someone who finds it very difficult to lose weight and mitigates your obesity by maximising your fitness, good for you. This is a positive action and I applaud it. Try to recognise that my actions to lose weight are also a positive action towards better health and do not berate me for it.

• Just because you personally are suffering health and mobility problems, this does not mean you have the right to go online relating this to your weight and perpetuating fatphobia and diet culture and harming other Fat people whom you should support.

Firstly, FFS.

Secondly, I do have the right to talk about weight loss and fitness online and not only does this help me, but many other people struggling to overcome obesity have told me that I have inspired them too. Fat people are not a monolith and many would rather address the problem than embrace ‘body positivity,’ Get over it.

Thirdly, With most forms of ‘marginalised identity,’ CSJ advocates focus upon those most affected and (rightly) point out that, for example, Barack Obama having been president does not mean that African Americans are statistically as successful as people of other races. Please take your obese marathon runner as a similar case in point and recognise that many obese people are not able to achieve this and do, in fact, suffer significant health problems. Please consider the possibility that your movement would do well to support not only the obese people suffering abuse and discrimination from outside forces but also those suffering the health effects of their obesity which they need to address themselves (with support!) Consider that by telling me that I should shut up because other fat people are just fine, you might be ‘All Lives Mattering” at the people whose lives actually are in danger in defence of the ones whose are not.

• There is empirical evidence that diets do not work longterm so going on about your diet and exercise is useless and gives false hope.

This comes down to your definition of ‘diet.’ If you are defining diets as programmes people take on in the short term and then stop when they reach their goal, of course they won’t work longterm. This is much like arguing that cleaning your house doesn’t work because when you stop doing it, your house becomes just as dirty as it was before. Instead understand ‘diet’ in the broader sense of ‘what people habitually eat.’

Using this sense of the word ‘diet’ and comparing the diets of people who are a healthy weight with those of people who are morbidly obese, you will find a difference. I do not intend to “go on a diet” but to resume the habitual healthy diet that meant I was slim for most of my life rather than continuing in an unhealthy one I have slipped into recently that has made me very fat. Different people will have different reasons for being very overweight and different kinds of healthy diets that they find they can sustain longterm and I encourage them to avoid faddy diets but find something healthy that works for them and can be sustained.

Does Fatphobia Actually Exist?

Of course, genuine fatphobia exists. And, yes, “fatphobia” is a suitable word because a phobia is a revulsion or aversion to something, just as I have with spiders. They make me shudder with disgust, feel physically sick and want them out of my sight. Some people genuinely do feel this way about the obese and you see this very clearly online when people use vomiting emojis and verbalise their visceral disgust at a scantily clad plus size person. I don’t think it is necessarily morally wrong to feel this reaction, but people who do feel it should learn to manage their own feelings without making them the obese person’s problem. Speak to that person as the human being that they are and talk to your therapist if you need to about managing your feelings.

Most claims of fatphobia, however, are not cases of people feeling such a strong sense of revulsion about obesity that they genuinely feel they might vomit, and require psychological help to be able to function in a world where they will encounter fat people. A lot of them are ideological rubbish that is trotted out whenever anybody mentions health problems related to obesity as shown above.

This is a shame because genuine abuse of or discrimination against fat people does exist and does need addressing. There is no moral justification for bullying or insulting people because they are overweight. Some people believe this may motivate them to lose weight but this would not justify being an arsehole to obese people even if it were true. The reality, however, seems to be that it is not true and that making people feel horrible about themselves is more likely to encourage them to comfort eat and gain weight.

There is reason to believe that obese people do suffer genuine and unwarranted discrimination. Some evidence shows that obese people are less likely to be employed for a job where their weight would make absolutely no difference to their work at all. This could be due to fears that they will require extra sick days as absenteeism does increase with BMI but this is not the case for very many people. It could also be due to a perception that obese people are generally lazy and unmotivated which is not indicated either. Similarly, there is reason to believe that obese people receive subpar medical treatment as their obesity can be wrongly assumed to be the cause of symptoms and the real cause to go undiagnosed and untreated. Fat Activists have done good work in addressing both of these issues. I hope they will move into focusing more on issues like this and less on harassing fat people trying to lose weight.