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ken terry's avatar

Thank you Helen, this is a much needed discussion. The problem with language is one of (I believe) the most problematic aspects of the rise of the Progressive Left. The difficulty in trying to have a productive discussion when you must constantly define the words used to make certain the meaning has not changed is infuriating. My Gen Z son and I have always been able to discuss anything, but of late I have had to ask for definitions several times because we seemed to be talking past each other on subject I thought I understood his position.

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Sara Sharick's avatar

One thing we are generally terrible at is defining our terms up front. I was in a Facebook conversation with someone, probably several months ago now. I was using the word “gender” to refer to something innate about someone (but different from sex) and “gender role” as something socially constructed. We were disagreeing about whether gender was socially constructed and it was only after several rounds of back and forth that I realized she was using “gender identity” the same way I was using “gender” and she was using “gender” the same way I was using “gender role.” In effect, we were saying the same thing, but for putting the label “gender” on two different definitions. I pointed out as much and the conversation faded off.

(To be clear, I’m not sure I hold this definition of gender anymore, but that’s a separate issue.)

The disagreement could have been avoided if we’d known up front what we each meant by these terms, even if we were using them differently.

If anyone ever asks me if I am a feminist, I will absolutely ask first what they think that is before answering.

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