So, I Don't Have Lung Cancer

And other (mostly) good news.

Today, I received the results of numerous tests I have been undergoing to investigate why I have been having difficulties with my breathing, feel exhausted all the time and go into cardio just making a cup of tea. The results were very reassuring as they ruled out the big nasties - lung cancer and heart disease.

It was quite a frightening experience to go to the GP because of pain in my ribs that radiated through to my back, unexplained tachycardia, brain fog & falling asleep all the time and leave with, not with a diagnosis of a chest infection and prescription for antibiotics as I’d hoped, but a list of forthcoming tests for really quite serious ailments And everybody was so very kind. The last time medical practitioners were this kind was when I was suspected of having a brain tumour. (I don’t. Well, I do, but its a benign cyst & it’s fine). This time, the examining MD asked me to acknowledge that the concern was lung cancer and that this was why they were moving quickly and the nurse waited with me for my cab speaking kindly to me about what psychological support is available for those living with cancer and making inquiries about the support I had at home. This was, frankly, terrifying.

But I do not have lung cancer. I did not think I had lung cancer. It would be a remarkable coincidence if that would pop up straight after I’d had pertussis (whooping cough) followed by the mother of all respiratory viruses that wiped me out for a month and also caused pneumonia. I feared that one of these had done my lungs serious damage but the pain is likely muscular. My lungs are absolutely fine. There is no sign of heart disease either. The rest of my results are less positive. My kidneys and liver are struggling a bit, I have hypothyroidism but mildly, my cholesterol is slightly elevated, my full blood count is weird, probably because I have been fighting infections for months, and I am deficient in various vitamins that need supplementing. Essentially, I am generally run down and have burnt myself out again and my body is getting too old to put up with my bullshit.

These test results are a win, though, in my book. All the bloods that are not normal are in the borderline zone which is enough to cause symptoms but also close enough to normal to be fixed with lifestyle change, some supplements and short-term medication. It is a wake up call. Various organs are showing signs of being in trouble but this can easily go in one of two directions - either I carry on neglecting my health as I have been and develop serious health problems in the next five years or I do sensible things that are likely to put me back within normal ranges within the next six months. I turned 50 today and I can no longer expect my body to be as forgiving as it has been. I have to prioritise looking after it. I am already a little better for having taken seventeen days to focus on my health and I intend to take another nine and start working again on the 12th of August. I will need to have some very firm boundaries around social media use & working hours.

I cannot do Twitter. I must think like an alcoholic in recovery and accept that Twitter is a thing I cannot do, even in moderation, because it never remains in moderation. It is extremely bad for me, especially for my sleep. I will not be engaging on Twitter in the future. I won’t have charge of the account and it will only be used to post writings and podcasts etc.

What I will do, however, is use an inactive Twitter account I have for research purposes that follows all the key accounts I need to follow what is happening and being said across the political spectrum. Some writers who address Culture War issues and whom I respect have suggested to me that it is better to just avoid social media completely and subscribe to a politically diverse number of relevant news and opinion outlets. I cannot agree. While this would certainly reduce abuse, frustration and despair of humanity, it would also reduce access to the main source of information about what all the people who are not political or cultural writers are thinking and saying. This is a big drawback of ignoring social media, particularly for those of us on the economic left who are concerned with class issues and the impacts of various policies and societal attitudes on the least powerful members of society. Aside from this class issue, avoiding social media would also make it impossible for me to do what I do specifically which is track and study popular discourses and ideological frameworks as they shift and evolve. So, I shall follow social media, but not be present on it.

I am currently thinking of doing something like a “weekly round up’ of the ‘current things’ that have been discussed in mainstream media and on social media accompanied by my own argument for how those of us who care about what is true and who aim to hold consistently liberal principles should understand them and respond ethically to them. I might do this in a podcast format for my paying subscribers with a written summary for free subscribers. If I go forward with this, I will probably reduce the cost of being a paying subscriber so that people who want to follow me from Twitter over here and talk to me can do so, but my ‘hate followers’ and committed stalkers who do not want to support me in any way will not. This is something I will be thinking about in the next couple of weeks, so let me know what you think in the comments.

My working hours are now going to be from 9-5 Monday to Friday with exceptions only made for evening/weekend events and live-streams and for meetings & podcasts with individuals inconsiderate enough to live in North America or the Antipodes. The single most important thing for my health is to have clearly defined working hours around which a healthy sleep, exercise and healthy meal preparation plan can occur, as well as significant chunks of downtime & time with my family & friends! I have made this commitment to said family and they will be holding me to it.

That is a good note on which to end this post as I can hear the preparations for my extremely wholesome birthday celebrations happening downstairs. A Very Serious Games evening is due to start in half an hour. We begin with table-football, followed by Table Ping-Pong and Table Pool, following which there will be fish and chips before we settle into the backgammon, rummy, whist & Yahtzee.

Cheers!

Photo by Terrance Raper on Unsplash