Grateful for your sanity. There is a reality and it is shared, whether we like it or not. Our public education systems in the US are currently drowning 'in the koolaid' and they continue to do critical social justice while children are not up to any standard (because that would be anti CSJ).
Narrative is the key. They threw out everything else a long time ago and I was dreaming too much myself to recognize the hollowness of Narrative without substance (measurable goals, outcomes based on merit and achievement, etc).
Wonderful. Like a glass of cold water on a hot day (or hot coffee on a cold day in this hemisphere). I plan to write to the Party I used to vote for and this has helped me organise my thoughts.
The fantasy of radical rhetoric will always outsell the dull mechanics of real reform. But that’s because people mistake emotional velocity for efficacy. This essay nails what many don’t want to hear: stories aren’t strategy, and catharsis isn’t change. In a world that now equates shouting with activism and emotion with evidence, the unglamorous truth is this—reality doesn’t bend to narrative. You either face it, or you perform around it.
The “lived experience” as sacrosanct truth is an issue I work with clients in mental health therapy and coaching all the time. There’s a certain level of not-funny irony in a profession that advocates for the utility of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) as a supposedly evidence-based practice for mitigating depression and anxiety by challenging biased thinking, when much of the profession advocates through affirmation the absurdities that people come to session with. One of the most difficult things for people to learn is that the story accompanying an emotional experience is not automatically accurate, and that to some degree we are always wrong. To “hold thoughts lightly” is not just a principle from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) but an epistemic principle of humility that promotes flexibility in thought and reaction. Admittedly, being wrong doesn’t feel good, so it makes sense why avoiding acknowledging such is a cornerstone of human behavior.
I'm feeling like I am part of a movement of inconvenient people who just want to be free to believe in myths without being called irresponsible and bad citizens.
To my mind there is strong empirical evidence for saying “we live in a white supremacist, cis/heteronormative, imperialist, patriarchal rape culture” and none for Pizza-gate type conspiracy theories (for instance). Much of political, social, and historical writing is inundated with evidence of these power structures. I grant that DEI sensitivity training or rabid social media posts may not be that helpful in creating change but to say these critiques of power are the same order as conspiracy theories is perplexing.
I find the claim that we live in such a culture perplexing, especially when we have historical and geographical evidence of such cultures existing and what they look like. It becomes hard to know what we should call those cultures if we live in one. Generally, when I ask about this, I am informed that racism still exists and economic disparities between racial groups (although white people are not near the top) or that rapists still exist although sexual assault is considered one of the most heinous crimes and more likely to destroy an accused reputation utterly than almost any other crime. I think this is like when people claiming a “deep state” style conspiracy move to a generic claim that if you believe governments to be transparent, they have a bridge to sell you.
Aren’t there multiple feminist positions? You seem to be a feminist! (?) Rape and interpersonal violence’s been around since forever, and it’s certainly worth exploring what factors cluster. Maybe we can reduce the incidence? Given the wars & massacres going on in the world, I wonder (about human nature). The program you propose seems like it could be helpful. You are perhaps familiar with Kate Manne’s book on misogyny, Down Girl? She outlines cultural manifestations, like sexist bashing of women politicians, rapists’ lawyers & the media playing the “boys will be boys” card, etc. Not sure how calling out cultural manifestations of misogyny can hurt the cause? It does sound extreme, though, to say “all white people are racist.”
Yes, I have not indicated otherwise. To say that the position that we live in a society where rape is normalised and condoned is feminist is not to say that no other positions can be. I'm a feminist if you define this as believing in equal rights for both sexes. Yes, to reduce the incidence, we need to look at what factors go into incidents. Human nature is certainly a factor. Male humans commit violence against other males and females at about the same ratio as the other great apes. But the vast majority of men do not commit any. So, we need to narrow down to those who do.
Yes, I have read that book. It's a perfect example of cherrypicking to fit an ideological commitment. I strongly suspect that she chose manual strangulation to focus on because that is the one form of violence that women cannot also commit against men. Yes, call out cultural manifestations of misogyny. And also misandry. That's being specific and evidence-based.
Yes, that’s the fear, I think. That if we do not accept we live in a patriarchal rape culture, for example, that means we get complacent/don’t care about VAWG. But this is to let one’s wish to take serious crimes very seriously get in the way of doing effective things about them. I have written threads about this before arguing that the feminist position that rape happens because we live in a society where rape is normalised and condoned and men are socially conditioned to believe that it’s fine and encourage each other in it can only produce effective results if it is true. Then social messaging to teach men not to rape is needed. If rape is actually widely regarded as one of the most heinous crimes ever on a cultural level so that there’s a special register for it, rapists have to be separated from the general population in prison so men don’t kill them and rapists feel so sure of this that they don’t even try it in public places, then rapists are men who go *against* social norms and the way to reduce it requires specific measures to detect potential sex offenders early and intervene on them and make prosecutions more successful. This includes addressing the abusive home situations that rapists typically come from, intervening on boys showing callous and violent traits, intervening on groups of boys who display misogyny and glamorous sexual violence and separating them, running campaigns in subcultures that have these elements and listening to women and girls within them and making it easier for them to speak up and addressing the issue of recidivist offenders which most rapists are by having a secure database that keeps the names of men accused but for which prosecutions are not brought secure so that, if the same name comes up again (in one study, it did in more than half of cases) a prosecution can be brought successfully by bringing the cases together. This will prevent sexual crime much more effectively because it understands the problem accurately. Well-intentioned people who want to feel that they are good people who take the problem seriously and that to do that, we have to believe we live in a rape culture, get in the way of this. The same is true of things like racism. If all white people are assumed to be racist, we do things like the DiAngelo style anti-racist training which increases racism, while if we look at racist subcultures and what factors lead somebody to become involved in white supremacist organisations and rhetoric, we can actually address it properly.
Or we could just admit that our species is a rape species and always has been, except that somehow we have also always had it in us to resist this biology both culturally and individually. We might as well just keep on keeping on with that.
(Critical theory probably has some answer to the brute facts of a world where life is based on binary sexual reproduction but whatever.)
Alternatively, might it be that there are more ways of describing our social reality than a binary choice between 'white supremacist, cis/heteronormative, imperialist, patriarchal rape culture' and 'hunky dory'?
Leggendo il testo,molto esauriente e preciso,non ho potuto fare a meno di pensare,che,il "dramma" del movimento socialista fin dall'inizio è dato indubbiamente dalla sua parte radicale/rivoluzionaria . Mentre i risultati ottenuti sono da accreditare alla sola sua corrente liberale/riformista.
Da Marx , che considerava leggi e parlamenti " una sovrastruttura " ...pressoché inutile .via ,via fino ad oggi con le varie teorie e/o attenzioni per minoranze (che non le avevano,peraltro, richieste).
Mentre la verità, è, che i miglioramenti REALI per la parte debole della società sono avvenuti grazie al lavoro duro costante e continuo
attraverso, appunto, leggi e parlamenti democratici ,da parte dei socialisti liberali e riformisti; che non hanno aspettato il ....." sol dell'avvenire"....".
They never tell us what we should actually be doing, do they? (Then the argument gets defeated when we tell them, yep, that's kind of what I and a lot of other white cis people have been doing since before you were born.)
I think this is the thing, people are literal sick and tired of being bored. A literal policy driven society devoid of soul is killing people (its causing deep depression and poor health).
Maybe that's why people want heroes to see the world as good v evil, to believe in conspiracies, to have something to fight against. Bringing myths back into living could actually be helping people mentally.
Democracy is the rule of the people, what we have is rules in a very boring game of moving the furniture around and change the labels while doing so (kind of like working in a dull furniture shop that you struggle to escape from).
If we are to save lives lets allow fruit trees to grow in abundance, instead of buying or renting a home we the people can simply declare an allocation of right to a home, lets encourage music and song, lets imagine a beautiful future into being.
People don't feel grounded or rooted in this society, they feel alienated ignored not listened to.
I do a very simple job pushing trollies at a super market and when I give a simple smile, an ear to listen to, or a simple helping hand it helps to change someone's mood. Human contact is what people want (I've been a carer too), its the feeling, and the feeling is what makes reality real.
Democracy I believe is founded on feeling, the feeling to connect and so listen to one another. For it is along the lines of communication that energy shall flow, lets learn from nature, lets learn from love and the beauty of this world.
The mycelium network is a beautiful example of where we can draw inspiration to create a democracy for humanity and begin to move away from policy and a literal world, for in my experience reality is closer to being like a dream than something fixed. We can make empirical claims about people yet people are highly complex for those claims to hold (especially if the results we receive are written feed back instead of the actual withness of the human experience).
I say lets embrace our feelings for they are a telling of what wants to be born, lets listen and learn to such myths for they are pointing to a way out of the dark of dull narratives.
For it's the soul that people are searching for and it's that that shall light up the way.
*stands up and madly cheers in her living room*
Great article. We really need your books shared all over the world in different lenguages, because we REALLY need them.
Grateful for your sanity. There is a reality and it is shared, whether we like it or not. Our public education systems in the US are currently drowning 'in the koolaid' and they continue to do critical social justice while children are not up to any standard (because that would be anti CSJ).
Narrative is the key. They threw out everything else a long time ago and I was dreaming too much myself to recognize the hollowness of Narrative without substance (measurable goals, outcomes based on merit and achievement, etc).
Wonderful. Like a glass of cold water on a hot day (or hot coffee on a cold day in this hemisphere). I plan to write to the Party I used to vote for and this has helped me organise my thoughts.
The fantasy of radical rhetoric will always outsell the dull mechanics of real reform. But that’s because people mistake emotional velocity for efficacy. This essay nails what many don’t want to hear: stories aren’t strategy, and catharsis isn’t change. In a world that now equates shouting with activism and emotion with evidence, the unglamorous truth is this—reality doesn’t bend to narrative. You either face it, or you perform around it.
I really resonated with this. "Make Reality Real Again" - this would make a great t-shirt:)
Make Reality Real Again. That’s a T shirt that needs making!
Genuinely offering tea and biscuits and a kind listening ear can actually save a life!
Never dismiss the power of tea and biscuits 🙏🏽❤️
The “lived experience” as sacrosanct truth is an issue I work with clients in mental health therapy and coaching all the time. There’s a certain level of not-funny irony in a profession that advocates for the utility of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) as a supposedly evidence-based practice for mitigating depression and anxiety by challenging biased thinking, when much of the profession advocates through affirmation the absurdities that people come to session with. One of the most difficult things for people to learn is that the story accompanying an emotional experience is not automatically accurate, and that to some degree we are always wrong. To “hold thoughts lightly” is not just a principle from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) but an epistemic principle of humility that promotes flexibility in thought and reaction. Admittedly, being wrong doesn’t feel good, so it makes sense why avoiding acknowledging such is a cornerstone of human behavior.
Nice illustration.
I'm feeling like I am part of a movement of inconvenient people who just want to be free to believe in myths without being called irresponsible and bad citizens.
To my mind there is strong empirical evidence for saying “we live in a white supremacist, cis/heteronormative, imperialist, patriarchal rape culture” and none for Pizza-gate type conspiracy theories (for instance). Much of political, social, and historical writing is inundated with evidence of these power structures. I grant that DEI sensitivity training or rabid social media posts may not be that helpful in creating change but to say these critiques of power are the same order as conspiracy theories is perplexing.
I find the claim that we live in such a culture perplexing, especially when we have historical and geographical evidence of such cultures existing and what they look like. It becomes hard to know what we should call those cultures if we live in one. Generally, when I ask about this, I am informed that racism still exists and economic disparities between racial groups (although white people are not near the top) or that rapists still exist although sexual assault is considered one of the most heinous crimes and more likely to destroy an accused reputation utterly than almost any other crime. I think this is like when people claiming a “deep state” style conspiracy move to a generic claim that if you believe governments to be transparent, they have a bridge to sell you.
Aren’t there multiple feminist positions? You seem to be a feminist! (?) Rape and interpersonal violence’s been around since forever, and it’s certainly worth exploring what factors cluster. Maybe we can reduce the incidence? Given the wars & massacres going on in the world, I wonder (about human nature). The program you propose seems like it could be helpful. You are perhaps familiar with Kate Manne’s book on misogyny, Down Girl? She outlines cultural manifestations, like sexist bashing of women politicians, rapists’ lawyers & the media playing the “boys will be boys” card, etc. Not sure how calling out cultural manifestations of misogyny can hurt the cause? It does sound extreme, though, to say “all white people are racist.”
Yes, I have not indicated otherwise. To say that the position that we live in a society where rape is normalised and condoned is feminist is not to say that no other positions can be. I'm a feminist if you define this as believing in equal rights for both sexes. Yes, to reduce the incidence, we need to look at what factors go into incidents. Human nature is certainly a factor. Male humans commit violence against other males and females at about the same ratio as the other great apes. But the vast majority of men do not commit any. So, we need to narrow down to those who do.
Yes, I have read that book. It's a perfect example of cherrypicking to fit an ideological commitment. I strongly suspect that she chose manual strangulation to focus on because that is the one form of violence that women cannot also commit against men. Yes, call out cultural manifestations of misogyny. And also misandry. That's being specific and evidence-based.
https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2024/04/wealth-by-race.html
Not sure how to respond but I suppose thinking things are just hunky dory weighs lighter on the mind.
Yes, that’s the fear, I think. That if we do not accept we live in a patriarchal rape culture, for example, that means we get complacent/don’t care about VAWG. But this is to let one’s wish to take serious crimes very seriously get in the way of doing effective things about them. I have written threads about this before arguing that the feminist position that rape happens because we live in a society where rape is normalised and condoned and men are socially conditioned to believe that it’s fine and encourage each other in it can only produce effective results if it is true. Then social messaging to teach men not to rape is needed. If rape is actually widely regarded as one of the most heinous crimes ever on a cultural level so that there’s a special register for it, rapists have to be separated from the general population in prison so men don’t kill them and rapists feel so sure of this that they don’t even try it in public places, then rapists are men who go *against* social norms and the way to reduce it requires specific measures to detect potential sex offenders early and intervene on them and make prosecutions more successful. This includes addressing the abusive home situations that rapists typically come from, intervening on boys showing callous and violent traits, intervening on groups of boys who display misogyny and glamorous sexual violence and separating them, running campaigns in subcultures that have these elements and listening to women and girls within them and making it easier for them to speak up and addressing the issue of recidivist offenders which most rapists are by having a secure database that keeps the names of men accused but for which prosecutions are not brought secure so that, if the same name comes up again (in one study, it did in more than half of cases) a prosecution can be brought successfully by bringing the cases together. This will prevent sexual crime much more effectively because it understands the problem accurately. Well-intentioned people who want to feel that they are good people who take the problem seriously and that to do that, we have to believe we live in a rape culture, get in the way of this. The same is true of things like racism. If all white people are assumed to be racist, we do things like the DiAngelo style anti-racist training which increases racism, while if we look at racist subcultures and what factors lead somebody to become involved in white supremacist organisations and rhetoric, we can actually address it properly.
Or we could just admit that our species is a rape species and always has been, except that somehow we have also always had it in us to resist this biology both culturally and individually. We might as well just keep on keeping on with that.
(Critical theory probably has some answer to the brute facts of a world where life is based on binary sexual reproduction but whatever.)
Alternatively, might it be that there are more ways of describing our social reality than a binary choice between 'white supremacist, cis/heteronormative, imperialist, patriarchal rape culture' and 'hunky dory'?
Exactly, Kate. The Manichean world view is silly and simplistic.
Leggendo il testo,molto esauriente e preciso,non ho potuto fare a meno di pensare,che,il "dramma" del movimento socialista fin dall'inizio è dato indubbiamente dalla sua parte radicale/rivoluzionaria . Mentre i risultati ottenuti sono da accreditare alla sola sua corrente liberale/riformista.
Da Marx , che considerava leggi e parlamenti " una sovrastruttura " ...pressoché inutile .via ,via fino ad oggi con le varie teorie e/o attenzioni per minoranze (che non le avevano,peraltro, richieste).
Mentre la verità, è, che i miglioramenti REALI per la parte debole della società sono avvenuti grazie al lavoro duro costante e continuo
attraverso, appunto, leggi e parlamenti democratici ,da parte dei socialisti liberali e riformisti; che non hanno aspettato il ....." sol dell'avvenire"....".
Cordialmente
This a pre-truth world. Enlightenment values never stuck.
They never tell us what we should actually be doing, do they? (Then the argument gets defeated when we tell them, yep, that's kind of what I and a lot of other white cis people have been doing since before you were born.)
One of the reasons I deleted most of my social media accounts was the extent to which I was able to substitute pontificating for action.
I think this is the thing, people are literal sick and tired of being bored. A literal policy driven society devoid of soul is killing people (its causing deep depression and poor health).
Maybe that's why people want heroes to see the world as good v evil, to believe in conspiracies, to have something to fight against. Bringing myths back into living could actually be helping people mentally.
Democracy is the rule of the people, what we have is rules in a very boring game of moving the furniture around and change the labels while doing so (kind of like working in a dull furniture shop that you struggle to escape from).
If we are to save lives lets allow fruit trees to grow in abundance, instead of buying or renting a home we the people can simply declare an allocation of right to a home, lets encourage music and song, lets imagine a beautiful future into being.
People don't feel grounded or rooted in this society, they feel alienated ignored not listened to.
I do a very simple job pushing trollies at a super market and when I give a simple smile, an ear to listen to, or a simple helping hand it helps to change someone's mood. Human contact is what people want (I've been a carer too), its the feeling, and the feeling is what makes reality real.
Democracy I believe is founded on feeling, the feeling to connect and so listen to one another. For it is along the lines of communication that energy shall flow, lets learn from nature, lets learn from love and the beauty of this world.
The mycelium network is a beautiful example of where we can draw inspiration to create a democracy for humanity and begin to move away from policy and a literal world, for in my experience reality is closer to being like a dream than something fixed. We can make empirical claims about people yet people are highly complex for those claims to hold (especially if the results we receive are written feed back instead of the actual withness of the human experience).
I say lets embrace our feelings for they are a telling of what wants to be born, lets listen and learn to such myths for they are pointing to a way out of the dark of dull narratives.
For it's the soul that people are searching for and it's that that shall light up the way.